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Tantra Newsletter


Of the Signs of the Change of Lover's Feelings


"The duty of a courtesan consists in forming connections with suitable men after due and full consideration, and attaching the person with whom she is united to herself; in obtaining wealth from the person who is attached to her, and then dismissing him after she has taken away all his possessions.

A courtesan leading in this manner the life of a wife is not troubled with too many lovers, and yet obtains abundance of wealth."

A woman should always know the state of the mind, of the feelings, and of the disposition of her lover towards her from the changes of his temper, his manner, and the colour of his face.

The behaviour of a waning lover is as follows:

  • He gives the woman either less than is wanted, or something else than that which is asked for.
  • He keeps her in hopes by promises.
  • He pretends to do one thing, and does something else.
  • He does not fulfil her desires.
  • He forgets his promises, or does something else than that which he has promised.
  • He speaks with his own servants in a mysterious way.
  • He sleeps in some other house under the pretence of having to do something for a friend.
  • Lastly, he speaks in private with the attendants of a woman with whom he was formerly acquainted.
Now when a courtesan finds that her lover's disposition towards her is changing, she should get possession of all his best things before he becomes aware of her intentions, and allow a supposed creditor to take them away forcibly from her in satisfaction of some pretended debt.

After this, if the lover is rich, and has always behaved well towards her, she should ever treat him with respect; but if he is poor and destitute, she should get rid of him as if she had never been acquainted with him in any way before.

The means of getting rid of a lover are as follows:

  • Describing the habits and vices of the lover as disagreeable and censurable, with the sneer of the lip, and the stamp of the foot.
  • Speaking on a subject with which he is not acquainted.
  • Showing no admiration for his learning, and passing a censure upon it.
  • Putting down his pride.
  • Seeking the company of men who are superior to him in learning and wisdom.
  • Showing a disregard for him on all occasions.
  • Censuring men possessed of the same faults as her lover.
  • Expressing dissatisfaction at the ways and means of enjoyment used by him.
  • Not giving him her mouth to kiss.
  • Refusing access to her jaghana, i.e. the part of the body between the navel and the thighs.
  • Showing a dislike for the wounds made by his nails and teeth.
  • Not pressing close up against him at the time when he embraces her.
  • Keeping her limbs without movement at the time of congress.
  • Desiring him to enjoy her when he is fatigued.
  • Laughing at his attachment to her.
  • Not responding to his embraces.
  • Turning away from him when be begins to embrace her.
  • Pretending to be sleepy.
  • Going out visiting, or into company, when she perceives his desire to enjoy her during the daytime.
  • Mis-constructing his words.
  • Laughing without any joke, or, at the time of any joke made by him, laughing under some pretence.
  • Looking with side glances at her own attendants, and clapping her hands when he says anything.
  • Interrupting him in the middle of his stories, and beginning to tell other stories herself.
  • Reciting his faults and his vices, and declaring them to be incurable.
  • Saying words to her female attendants calculated to cut the heart of her lover to the quick.
  • Taking care not to look at him when he comes to her.
  • Asking him what cannot be granted.
  • And, after all, finally dismissing him.


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